Tonight I feel the need to express my gratitude. So many things have been happening the past month that has altered my perspective on life in general. I know alot of you know this, but my husband got called to be Bishop of our ward at the end of February. Life has changed as we know it. For the good, and some things not so good, but it already has changed my life.
I was talking to a friend, and we were talking about our trials. We then talked about another one of our friend's trials, and we both said we don't know how she does it. She is always so strong and optimistic. I know if I was in her shoes, I would not be as strong as she has been. But then my friend said the same thing about me. That she would be devastated if she was in my shoes. But it's funny, cause I was thinking the same thing about the trials she has gone through. As hard as this trial has been for me, it's my trial. And I wouldn't trade it with anyone else's. Sounds weird, but I am a different and better person becasue of it, and I have been trying to focus on all the good that I do have in my life, and I have SO much. I've said it before, and I'll say it again, I am so blessed.
I've come to realize that even more with my husband's new calling. Not because he tells me what's going on, but because people have opened up to me about their situations, and I realize how sad the world is. You hear those commercials that one in every 5 children go to bed hungry, or something like that, and it makes me so sad. But when you literally know someone that lives close to you that has a child that is not getting enough food, it makes me sick to my stomach.
Tonight, Brad called me from the church at 11pm, and told me to fill a couple bags up of groceries for a family that has no food. They even went to the store today, and stole milk because they didn't have anything for their toddler to eat. I got off the phone in tears. Was this really happening in my own backyard? To my neighbors, people in my ward? He didn't tell me who it was, but I felt very strongly that I needed to help this little family. I put some food in some grocery sacks, Brad came home, and left to take it to them. When he got back, he didn't say much, but I asked him how it went, and with tears in his eyes, he said, "Good".
This is one of the many stories that have touched my heart deeply. Brad and I don't have alot of money. With all our invitro bills we have had to cut down on things significantly, but we still have enough money to pay our bills, our mortgage, buy food. Stuff that most of the time we all take for granted. Not once have I ever had to worry that there wasn't enough food to feed Kassi. So many people don't have that luxury.
One other thing I am grateful for is my church. The LDS chruch gives so much. Without their welfare program so many people would be on the streets, starving. How blessed I am to be part of this religion.
There are still days that I struggle with not being able to get pregnant. It's those dark times when I sit down, and mentally go over everything I am blessed with. That changes my mood usually very quickly. How can I complain when I have so much?
The last thing I want to put out there is to listen to the spirit. There may be people all around you who are struggling. Just listen to that still small voice, and when you feel prompted to do something, do it. You never know when you may change someone's life.
