Yesterday couldn't have gone any better!

I can't believe the day finally came! It seems like I have been waiting forever for this, and it finally came, and went, actually. I was going to write this yesterday, and just didn't feel up to it.

Holy cow! I just realized it's almost been a week since I last posted. So, the day after the retrieval, they called to let me know that 14 out of the 15 eggs fertilized. That was AMAZING! My dr then called me on Saturday, to let me know how my little embryo babies were doing. He said that two were great and four more were doing pretty good. The rest were growing, just at a slower rate. So they decided to do the transfer on the fifth day. It's either on day 3 or 5 that they do the transfer. They would prefer to do a day five because the embryos are more developed, and more likely to survive, but the problem with that, is there is a risk of not many surviving to day five.

So I was very nervous. My hope when I found out they were doing a day five transfer was that I would have two embryos to transfer, and one or two embryos to freeze. I prayed and prayed for these little "babies" to continue to grow.

Monday finally arrives. Brad and I get to the dr office, and we anxiously await to hear how many blastocysts(that's what they are called now that they have been alive for 5 days) we have. The dr comes in and he tells us we have SIX!!!!! YAY! So they implanted two and are freezing four. I couldn't be happier. So now it's the waiting game. We will find out in two weeks if these little babies have attached themselves. I'm thinking inviting thoughts. My uterus needs to be a welcoming environment. Lol.

I also want to say, thank you to everyone who have prayed and thought about us. I truly know the Lord has answered those prayers and has blessed us greatly. And I know I will be getting a phone call in a couple weeks letting us know that a new family member will be joining us. The big question is, one or two? :)

Egg Retrieval

Today was the day! Crazy! I'm not feeling very well, and am pretty out of it, so here's a quick update. Monday night was my last shot. It was the HCG shot. It didn't hurt too bad going in, but holy crap it hurt the next day. All of you who have done the HCG diet amaze me. I don't know where that shot is done, but mine was done in the stomach. Between getting my blood drawn almost every other day, and my shots, I feel like a bruised up pin cushion. But the good news is, is that the shots are done. YAY! It was so nice last night to not have to worry about shots. I still have to get blood work done, but not as often.

So this morning we woke up bright and early, dropped Kassi off at my sis-in-law's, and headed over to the fertility clinic. They got me all prepped and ready to go. They asked me if I was nervous, but I really wasn't. Just excited.

They put me out, and before I knew it, I was waking up. I had to share a room with another woman. The first woman that I shared a room with had already had the procedure done, and was snoring so loudly. I had to fight back my giggling. So I was afraid of what I would do or say as I was waiting to wake up. Well, the only thing I remember when I woke up was nausea. Bleh. I don't do well when I come out of anesthesia. So I had to stay there longer because I couldn't get up without having to puke.

The Dr came out and told me they had gotten 15 eggs. I was a little disappointed. I thought they were going to get at least 20. But I guess not all of the eggs looked that great. Plus, I overheard the lady next to me only got 12, so that made me feel better. :) I just want them to be able to have some to freeze.

Anyway, now I am laying in bed with what feels like REALLY bad cramps, and feeling pretty achy. But they said tomorrow is going to be worse. That's ok, though. It's all for a good cause. They are going to call me tomorrow and let me know how many fertilized. Then it's just the countdown of when they put them back in. YAY!

So here's the latest......

I've been meaning to update for awhile, but things have been so busy, and when I'm not busy I am tired and not feeling the greatest. So......I know I had told you all I started the Lupron 3 weeks ago. Then I started the Follistim and Menopur a little over a week ago. That injection is not fun at all. We had just gotten used to the Lupron shots. Well these two medications we can combine, which is great because that means two shots instead of three, but the syringe is three times the size of the Lupron, and it has sodium chloride in it which makes it very painful going in. Then I am hunched over in pain for about ten minutes because it BURNS!

Brad has seriously become such a pro at these shots. I don't know why I was even worried about him. He has been my rock through this whole process. I don't know what I'd do without him.

So I've been asked about the side affects these drugs are causing. I already told you about the Lupron side affects. As for the other two, they make me tired. We take the shots at night, and about 30 min after, I am so sleepy. I've also heard of alot of women gaining weight during this process. Well, I have actually lost weight because I have no appetite at all. I seriously have to force myself to eat at times. Ya know when it's that time of month, and you're cramping really bad? Who wants to eat when they feel like that? That's how I constantly feel right now. I'm totally bloated,(cause my ovaries are enlarged,) and I'm totally crampy and really sore. My hormones are also crazy. That's how I was with the Lupron, but these other drugs have made it worse. So fun. Especially for Brad. Lol!

The good news is.........Tomorrow is the last day for shots!!!!! YAY! I have one more night of the medications I was taking before, and then tomorrow is the HCG shot, and then Wednesday is the egg retrieval. Woo Hoo! It's here. It's finally here. Hallelujah! All these things I've had to go through this past month, heck, these past 5 years, is all going to be worth it. I'm so excited, but so nervous at the same time. SO much is going on this week, it is a bit overwhelming, but I can't wait. By mid September we will get a positive preg test, and I can't wait!

I will try to be better about updating everything that is going on this week. Not just to let you all know what's going on, but I want to remember this whole process. I never want to forget what we went through to get more children here. It will hopefully keep me sane when I have twins and they are up all night, and I feel like I'm losing my mind. Lol! Is it weird to say that I am so excited for that?

Tears

"The Lord compensates the faithful for every loss. That which is taken away from those who love the Lord will be added unto them in His own way. While it may not come at the time we desire, the faithful will know that EVERY TEAR TODAY WILL BE RETURNED A HUNDREDFOLD WITH TEARS OF REJOICING AND GRATITUDE.....Because Heavenly Father is merciful, a principle of compensation prevails.
Elder Joseph B Wirthlin

An amazing friend of mine gave me that quote when she found out what I was going through. I can't tell you how many times I've read it. Each time I get down and cry, I pull this out and it turns my thought process around quickly. Today has been one of those days.

I went to my first ultrasound today. First of all, let me say that things have been going very smoothly so far. Brad has become a pro at the shots. He has really stepped up to the plate. I'm so lucky to have him. The medication I'm on right now is called Lupron. It's not the greatest drug in the world. I was told the side affects make you feel like you are going through menopause. So I have hot flashes, headaches, mood swings galore, but nothing too bad.

Anyway, as I was saying. I went to my first ultrasound today because I start my additional shots tomorrow. The ones that stimulate my ovaries and make me produce a ton of eggs. Well, at my ultrasound, I was telling the girl my history. That I have endometriosis, and had surgery to remove cysts. As I am telling her this she is looking at my ovaries and says, "Well, I hate to tell you this, but those endometriomas are back." (Those are cysts with fluid in them that are caused by endometriosis.)

I could not believe it. I just had the surgery 8 months ago, and they are already back? My dr and I were hoping we would have a couple years without them. I walked out feeling so discouraged. I know I was told that they can come back fairly quickly, but my dr thought I would have at least a year. I sat in the car, and those tears started coming. I felt so frustrated. It just goes to show that things down there are only getting worse, and I probably will have to get surgery again, and I probably will never be able to get pregnant on my own again. You are probably thinking I had already come to that conclusion. Well, Brad and I were hoping that after we do invitro, and have a baby, that since we won't be "thinking about it," that maybe someday we could get pregnant on our own again. I guess I just didn't want to come to the conclusion that if we ever want more kids after this, that we will always have to do invitro.

After a good cry, and pushing the thought of those dumb cysts out of my mind, it hit me again that what we are doing is right. This is definitely not the ideal way to have a baby, but at least I live at a time when it is possible. I feel so good about this process. I'm still scared out of my mind, but behind that is peace.

So I came home, and pulled out this quote, read it a couple times, and I feel so much better. The Lord know what I am going through, and one day (hopefully in ten months), these sad tears will be replaced with tears of joy, and I can't wait for that.

Lagoon/Kassi's 2nd Tooth

We took Kassi to Lagoon for the first time this year. When we figured out we were going, we told Kassi about all the rides she was going to be able to ride on. She is super tall, so we were excited that she would be able to ride on alot of the rides. We get there, and guess what? The only ride Kassi wants to go on is the train. Seriously? She didn't even want to go on any kiddie rides. After alot of convincing, we finally got her to ride on some rides. You just never know in those situations how your children will react. We did have a ton of fun, though. My mom and my little brother came with his girlfriend, (now fiance!) So we all had a blast together. Here's some pics.

Kassi looking at the Lagoon map.

On the train. Brad and me.

Kassi and Grandma

Kassi in the car. She was so serious. I think she really thought she was driving the car. Lol!

On the merry-go-round.

Brad, Justin, and Jennica on The Rocket.

On another note, Kassi also lost her 2nd tooth! She was so excited!

The Best Concert Ever!

I am totally playing catch up. I'm almost up to date, thank goodness. So, Brad and I were so lucky to get U2 tickets given to us. I have been a fan of U2 forever, so I was so excited! We went with my bro and sis-in-law, Kristen and Jesse. Here our the pics from the concert.

Kristen and Jesse

Brad and me

Kristen and me

Group Shot

The Fray-they were awesome!

Brad and me

Kristen and Jesse

Bono!!!!!

We had so much fun!!!!!! Thanks Kristen and Jesse! Like I said, the best concert, EVER!!!!!

First Shot

Tonight was the first shot. Whoa. Kinda interesting. In my last post I was obviously very stressed about all the shots. Well, this last week has put things into perspective for me.

I got really sick. Sicker than I have been in a long time. I got strep, and then some virus in my ears, sinuses, and chest, then I got pink eye. I have NEVER had pink eye before. I was like what the crap is going on? With all that going on my father-in-law fell down some stairs and shattered both his feet and has been in the hospital. Oh, and Brad was gone for a couple days at Youth Conference. I'm telling you. The best week, ever.

Well I was talking to one of my friends on the phone, and she was like, "Don't you start your shots on Saturday?" I had totally forgot. Holy cow. That was this week. So, I figured the Lord did some things this week to put things into perspective for me. I had so many other things to think about, I no longer felt stressed about the shots. The Lord works in mysterious ways.

Well, the day finally came, and we had had kinda a training with our nurse on how to do the shots, but there is an online video you can watch as well. So Brad got out our laptop and turned on the video. Surprisingly I was totally calm. Brad was getting a little ornery but I assume that's cause he was a little stressed.

Well, the time came when I squeezed the fat on my stomach, and as Brad got the needle closer, I panicked. Ya, Brad was staying calm, and my hands wouldn't stop shaking. The needle really isn't that big, but the thought of Brad putting the needle in my stomach was not sitting well with me. Brad told me to calm down. So I closed my eyes, took a deep breath, and told him to do it.

The needle going in wasn't too bad. It hurt, but I can take it. Well, when he took it out, that is when it really started to hurt. I put the gauze on it cause it was bleeding a little. But it also felt like it was hot. And then the area got red, started to itch, and the injection site started to swell. Brad started to get nervous that he didn't put the needle in all the way, and I started to get nervous that I was having an allergic reaction. They tell you how to do the shot, but they don't tell you what is going to happen after.

So we decided to call the on call nurse. I told her the situation. She said the redness and itching is normal, but the swelling isn't so much. She told me to call her if it got bigger.

Well, I am happy to say, it is pretty much back to normal. Phew. This is so nervewracking! I've never received a shot without a medical professional around. All the needles and swabs and wipes and medicines. It's crazy!

Luckily right now we are only doing one shot a night. In a couple weeks we will be starting more. But as for right now I will just focus on this one. Taking it one day at a time. It overwhelms me to think I will be having shots in my stomach for another 3 weeks. But then I think, Holy cow. I am going to get pregnant next month, and it makes every single one of these shots worth it.