Brad's Sense of Humor

I was going through some of my old emails, and found this email Brad sent to me. I love filling out those emails that ask you questions about yourself, and then you forward them to your friends, and they fill it out, and so on. Well, there was one I filled out last year that Brad filled out and sent back to me. Some of you have already read it, but this is one I want to post on here so I can always have a copy. For those of you that don't know Brad, he is freakin hilarious. But he tends to only show that side of himself to those who know him really well. Hope this puts a smile on your face. It makes me laugh so hard every time I read it. Enjoy!



From: Brad Clegg
Subject: Re: Fw: Fun Facts about Me!
To: scarlettclegg@yahoo.com
Date: Wednesday, August 27, 2008, 4:13 PM


1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE? Yes. Probably a cool person or a Greek mythology creature.
2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED? Is this physically or psychologically? I cry psychologically all the time, especially when we run out of dryer sheets.
3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? It depends on the day. Sometimes I love it! However, there are days that I hate it...
4. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT? Fish, period!
5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS? 1 little girl, Kassidy. No boys.
6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU? There are a lot of reasons why I feel like I should say yes, but my gut is telling me "no". I don't think I could handle the emotional responsibility of being my friend. If I were a girl I'd think I was hot though.
7. DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT? No.
8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS? Not anyones business... perverts.
9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP? My dad always said I should go bungee jumping without the cord. So it depends.
10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL? Rice Chex was probably my favorite growing up. Then I realized that I just liked them because of all the sugar I dumped on them. Now it's just sugar - hold the cereal...
11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF? Again, none of your business.
12. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG? For a guy not very strong, but as a girl I'd be tough as crap. That would make me tougher than half the world if you really think about it. Did you just picture me as a girl?
13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM? Oreo.
14. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE? Eyebrows - Do people really think they look good connected?
15. RED OR PINK? Depends on what I'm wearing. I hate pink though.
16. WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF? My butt. Too sexy.
17. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST? Can I change this question to Why I'm so cool? Don't know.
18. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO SEND THIS BACK TO YOU? I hate most people that would read this. Don't bother.
19. WHAT COLOR SHOES ARE YOU WEARING? Wouldn't you like to know. Pervert.
20. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE? a gerbil.
21. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? troubled thoughts.
22. IF YOU WHERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE? I'd be one of those special pens that has like 20 different colors that you can click to use. Then I would use different colors depending on the day of the week. Thursday would definitely be a black day. Not sure what I'd use the other colors for. I don't see a need for them.
23. FAVORITE SMELLS? In summer it would be the smell of the deodorizer when you spray it in the air just after you use the bathroom. It seems odd, but it makes me feel at ease. No one will know what just happened because of the sneaky spray I just released from the bottle. Go ahead, breathe it in. You can kind of still smell it, so don't breath in too deep.
24. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE? Depends who's asking. If it is the person I just spoke with on the phone, do you want to know who I spoke with just before you? If so, I'd need to know who's asking so I can find out who I spoke with just before I spoke with you. It could have been months ago, even years. Who are you?
25. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU? Again, it depends
26. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH? It's not the sport that intrigues me. It's the speed of the coverage. I think fast coverage is kind of exciting, yet slow coverage makes more sense. So I'm confused by the phrasing of the question.
27. HAIR COLOR? peach and brown.
28. EYE COLOR? Lemony brown
29. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS? pervert.
30. FAVORITE FOOD? If it's deep fried, anything - except poop...
31. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS? I like to combine the two. A scary movie with a happy ending. Not a fan of Happy movies with Scary endings.
32. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? Can I change this question to what's the last movie I sang along with? Not sure.
33. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING? Soft.
34. SUMMER OR WINTER? Depends on the time of year. Right now it's Summer, but Fall's a comin'...
35. HUGS OR KISSES? pervert.
36. FAVORITE DESSERT? Death Valley.
37. MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND? The person who loves me most, or the person that hates me. Either way, I'm excited.
38. LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND? Cheeto.
39. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW? None. I only read at night.
40. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? my mouse and a paperclip.
41. WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON TV LAST NIGHT? I've never been one to watch tv. Sometimes I watch a show or two at night and a couple shows when I get home from work everyday, but I hardly watch tv other than the time I'm not at work.
42. FAVORITE SOUND? Other than bathroom noises which always make me laugh (a sad laugh), I love the sound of the fan in our bathroom. Especially because it kind of muffles all the other noises if I'm not feeling good. Other than that I pretty much hate noise because it hurts my ears sometimes if it is loud (really loud)- unless it is bathroom noises, then it's funny. A sad funny.
43. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES? Is that a joke. They both suck. Once you go Carpenters, you never go back.
44. WHAT IS THE FARTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME? As a child I was kept indoors because of my sun rash. When I travel now, in my adulthood, I have to cover my body with damp rags and tape cotton over my eyelids to keep in constant moisture. So I'm not really sure. They could take me pretty much anywhere in the world (inside a 5 mile radius of my home) without me knowing it.
45.SPECIAL TALENTS? I've been known to sing a little when I'm sad.
46. WHERE WERE YOU BORN? It's been hard to figure this part of my life out. My parents swear I was adopted, but I look a lot like my father. Either they're lying, or my bald sweaty head is.
47. WHOSE ANSWERS ARE YOU LOOKING FORWARD TO GETTING BACK? I hope I never hear from any of you! Don't look at me.